Race to Witch Mountain

You may be asking yourself "Why, Dylan? Why?"

Well I came back to my Dad's house this weekend and I catch him and his girlfriend watching it because for some reason, they rented it. I'm not going to review the whole movie, just say some of the thoughts I had.

First, it's the story about two aliens who crash land on earth that look surprisingly like Hitler's Youth and talk with painfully proper English. You know, the kind that we would WANT our kids to learn and speak. Anyway, they land in Vegas since all aliens crash land in the mid-west and get in Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson's cab. Long story short, they have to get back to their ship at Witch Mountain and get home.

So some stereotypes:
1. Aliens can assume the forms of humans (if they aren't already appearing as such).
2. Aliens have way more advanced technology and intelligence (since they have not only mastered long-distance space-travel but also know how to utilize their brains so they can do nutty stuff like telekinesis).
3. The government when faced with a flux of aliens no matter how large or small will do anything in it's power and seemingly unlimited resources to track, hunt, capture, and slice open the aliens from orifice to orifice to see what kind of green goo oozes from their bellies.
4. The government has unlimited resources and infinite nameless soldiers and guys in white lab coats.
5. Mankind is always in jeopardy and it takes not the cooperative effort of every human on the planet, but the reckless persistence of one seemingly ordinary and preposterously buff super-action hero.

Suffice it to say, I felt like I was watching the same Disney alien movie that had been packaged in different wrapping. I'm just tired of these alien movies that depict the government as a crazy black-suit organization that wants to cut up whatever it can find. I would think that the good doctor with a scalpel standind over the sedated alien (who I assume has a PhD in something related to space, aliens, or medicine) would think to himself, "Why don't we save the cutting for after we ask the aliens how to travel long distances in space and use telekinesis?"

I like to think that Obama would not only sit down to have a rational talk with the aliens, but offer them jobs and healthcare as well.