On the Facade and the Public Self

Now... this post is the direct result of criticism and me being the way I am... but I'm going to do my best and keep it professional.

It's funny because I'm supposed to be writing a 1000 word essay about this very topic so I suppose the mere typing of this post begs the question, "Why don't you just write the stupid essay?" Truth is, I don't know.

Anyway, in my meditation, I was having a rough time distinguishing the private self from the public self. For me, I couldn't put A and B together but I now realize the following:
1) The private self is that who you are when no one is around. The private self is that idea that you know yourself best--that you're the best monitor of your own beliefs and feelings. The private self is the self you would sit down and have the most truthful conversations with (or just talking to yourself). The private self is that person you talk to when you think to yourself, "I should have known better," "I didn't really mean to say that," or any other type of cognition-related dissonance.
2) The public self is that person (the Jungian persona or facade) who you are to every other human being. Now, I think it's important to make the distinction between good friends (who you don't have to impress and who know you), acquaintances of interest (that is, people who you want to be friends with or people in a position to be flattered by you for your own personal gain), and strangers or other temporary acquaintances (those who will only you know based on a first impression). For the first, self-monitoring is usually low and who you are reflects your private self very well. For the second two, the public self can be this completely different person--that is, the person you think you want people to know. And of course, for some, this might be the same person as their private self. But you have to admit, for everyone, there are always those situations where they can't say or do exactly what they want because they're worried about how others will judge them for it.

That's another key point--being judged. That persona for the public self is a direct result of how you want to be remembered by everyone. The fact of the matter is, you can die with all your dirty secrets, but the person every one will know you as is the person you will always be. I guess it speaks to past transgressions: don't let anyone ever be mad at you for anything; simply because that kind of thing is hard to forget.

As I said, this all is a direct result of not only have to write a paper on the very same topic (which I think I have just mostly done... sort of), but a lot of self-reflection. I think my private self is very different from my public self but I think my good friends truly know me since I'm typically an open book for those people at certain times. I have a terrible time admitting my insecurities but when I do, that's pretty much a peek into who I am underneath it all.

I'm sure I had a point, but as usual, it escapes me. What can you do?